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Exam time Hustles..!

Posted by Karan Gurnani on 12:22 PM

This note is dedicated to all those who at least once while writing a paper have felt that they have all the time in the world.
I sometimes feel that reading the question paper at that point of time can be quite entertaining. Seriously, all u got to do is change ur point of view a little & trust me u wud come across several statements where u actually feel like writing LOL on the question paper.
  1. Question no. 1 is compulsory… LOL (wohi nahi aata :D)
  2. Attempt any 5 of the remaining 6… LOLZ ( discount )
  3. Figures to the right indicate full marks… ROFL (jaise dene wale ho)
  4. Avoid using unfair means…. ROFLMAO (no comments)
Then there are those moments when u feel u know nothing, u just look around & exchange shameless smiles with people caught in a similar situation.

Then there are also those discouraging situations where someone in the hall raises his hands n says “SUPPLIMENT” & u count the no. of pages left in ur main answer sheet. Situations worsen if he takes more than 1 suppliment…!

They say when the going gets tough, the tough keeps going…  N that is exactly the time when u expect answers to flow from all directions… In a desperate attempt to copy, we often end up being attacked by the supervisor with a very common order “PLEASE SIT STRAIGHT n U COVER UR PAPER PLEASE.” I never understood the logic of telling the guy to cover his paper; I mean it was only to his knowledge that I was peeping into his paper..!

During tough papers, more than answers we tend to recollect and hum the song we had heard earlier in the morning, that might b the song u hate the song, but still u keep humming it…!

And then the final rub on the fresh wounds that comes just 10 mins before the paper I really don’t understand why the examiner has to say “IF ANYONE WANTS SUPPLIMENTS TAKE IT NOW, U WONT GET THEM LATER” n by the time ur over this, there is a second rub “PLEASE TIE UR SUPLIMENTS N THEN START WRITING.”
N soon after the paper is collected u breath in a sigh of relief n try convincing urself that the paper wasn’t that bad either, when an idiot starts discussing the question paper in the hall only to make u realize that the only question u attempted with full confidence is also wrong…!

My only advice to people who have been struck with a similar kind of a horrendous ambiguity & who have struggled with such despondency is “U R NOT ALONE” :D



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2

Tech-No-Logical

Posted by Karan Gurnani on 7:09 PM

Just when I sat down to pen an essay with topic yet unplanned, my cell rang. It was my friend who wanted me to check out his latest status update on facebook. Well, off course I ignored his anxiety and quickly wore back my thinking cap. 3mins later, my engrossment was yet again shaken with a message alert, this time again it was the same friend asking ‘DEKHA KYA?’ He left me with probably no option after the missed call that followed. Double click on Mozilla Firefox, logged in only to like that status without even reading it. Just a second before I was supposed to log of, I got a notification saying that friend had commented on his own status saying ‘thnx dude.’
That was exactly the time a thought struck me, more than a thought, it was a question, How logically technological our life has become. Examination papers have weighed 100 marks since ages, but yet the complaints of not being able to complete the paper have been buzzing around more in recent times. Probably because sometime back we used to complete notes on our own, but now a days, we use a technology called photo copy. Language has gone for a toss. Thanks to all the latest ‘live chats’ available, people express their laughter using LOL, ‘you’ has become ‘u’, ‘are’ has become ‘r’, and computer is ‘pc’ where as ignorance is simply ‘ttul’ which means ‘talk to u l8r.’ We’ve literally murdered dictions. Mobile phones are used to receive voice calls, but making calls has now become a secondary feature of the same gadget, primary ones being the high pixel camera, built in wifi, mp3 player, 3g, etc. A mobile phone today may or may not connect you to people away from you, but it certainly does disconnect you from the person sitting next to you.
Well logically speaking it would take just take a few minutes to give a document to a senior, but technologically speaking, what I once saw in a corporate office was that the junior scanned the document, the file size went over limit so he couldn’t send it as an email, so he uploaded the documents to a site and sent the link of it to his senior. It took him 4 hours to do this! Thanks to technology, we can now waste time more efficiently..!
But these technologies are not just restricted to cell phones and computers, but also the various new engineering masterpieces like the machines used in hospitals, vehicles, the spy cameras and so many more which have made an impact and have made life much more safe and simple. These kinds of technologies are required because they do good to us at the end of the day, but not all the gadgets that surround us do good to us. The latest bikes in market have a developed brakes system, entire lineage but it all depends on the care one takes, how responsibly one drives.
Came across this very interesting signboard at an office, which read, “He who has the last laugh probably made a back up.” Today it’s exactly the same case; the one more inclined towards technology is the one who has the last laugh, but the one who knows how to balance life and technology doesn’t even need to stay till the end to laugh…
I would like to conclude my expression by saying; technology can do us good only if we know the point after which it can do us bad. We cannot afford to be so much dependent on technology that it becomes difficult for us to solve problems when there is no technology around.

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6

Valentine Day Tips...

Posted by Karan Gurnani on 3:39 PM
To be honest, I'm probably the last person to be giving Valentine Day Tips... But you can always take my advise, i don't use it any ways... So here are 14 tips for 14 feb..!

  1. Don't take anybody's advise.
  2. Book ur tickets in advance, every seat can't be a corner seat.
  3. Valentine Day Attraction '7 khoon maaf.' Book corner seats only if ur partner is non violent.
  4. Surprise ur partner only to the extent ur not left shocked.
  5. Your plans should not clash with ur partners diet plan.
  6. Candle light dinner makes it difficult for ur partner to spot the difference between pickle n paneer in their plate.
  7. Be prepared with a plan B, C, & D because most no. of problems crop up on the day u wish everything's perfect.
  8. Smile reasonably on every joke ur partner cracks, but don't crack jokes on which ur partner has to struggle to smile. P.S. Rajnikant jokes are officially banned.
  9. Don't rush to the washroom every-time u get nervous. (or in some cases to get ur hair right).
  10. Buy gifts ur partner can take back home.
  11. Don't praise ur partner so much that he/she feels that they can get Katrina or Ranbir (as the case may be..!)
  12. Don't make public announcements about ur plans before 15th feb.
  13. For guys only: Take her shopping at ur own risk
  14. If you dont want your GF to be your wife, please dont make her a mother..! 

The above points are however subject to market risk. Please research adequately before investing..!

Have a great Valentine... :)

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1

The Scariest Part..!

Posted by Karan Gurnani on 3:31 PM
Only a guy knows how much he has to work hard & prepare himself before proposing a girl... And the very thought of how the girl would react is THE SCARIEST PART..!
Its great if she agrees, but what follows are a few of the various types of rejections...

1. " I have never thought of u that way..! "
- the most common & a very diplomatic escape...

2. " Shakal dekhi hai aine mein..? "
- and the guy is insulted in such a way that os confidence is badly shaken for a real long time...

3. Here the girl doesnt say anything, but starts crying...
- Crying is Blackmail..!

4. " how dare u.. "
- the guy is slapped... in serous cases sandals come into play...

5. " You will get a better girl, i'm sure"
- the girl tries consoling the guy who actually1 is not interested in any kind of explanation at that moment...

6. " I need some time to think... "
- After a few days --> The vodafone no. you're trying to call is not answering, please try again later...

7. Here again the girl says nothing but simply walks away...

 8.In one of the cases, the girl fainted & the guy got so scared that he never turned up for the lectures...

9. " You know i actually love someone else "
- A girl should know that a guy proposes after a complete research. However no other statement confuses the guy as much as this statement does...

10. " NO "
- Point Blank. Matter Ends...

11. "  U r like my brother "
- I'm not gonna explain this one... It hurts...

All this really scares a guy, n it is scary, but THE SCARIEST PART is when the guy never tells the girl... Never let such things remain unsaid forever. THE SCARIEST PART is when one sits down & thinks " I WISH I HAD TOLD HER "

Came across a quote which read " If u love someone, b brave enough to tell them, OTHERWISE b brave enough to watch them being loved by some one else..."

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2

Professional Break up..!

Posted by Karan Gurnani on 3:09 PM
What follows is completely a piece of exaggeration... However any resemblance is hardly regretted...
Since ages lovers have written letters to make up & to break up... I don't wish to use legendary names, so lets assume CHAMPU broke up with CHAMPA... so how wud Chumps write a letter If he treated it as a professional letter...

(1) A Charted Accountant

To,
Who so ever it may concern.
This is to inform u that ur behavior towards me has been disappointing in the PY 2009-10, AY 2010-11. Bcoz of u i have been so low that i wud now have to undergo an internal reconstruction. All my reserves, surplus & goodwill have been written off. Bcoz of u my current ratio today is 1:4 against 2:1 which i used to have before meeting u. After clearing CA finals, ppl used to appreciate my brains, but u managed to depreciate it as well...
You are hereby credited...


(2) A Mechanic

To my dear 4stroke,
I treated u like a German engineering product, but ur spare parts were just like that of a premiere padmini. U kicked me as if i was ur scooty, Believe me, my dikki still pains. I was ur sunroof during summers n wiper during rains, but u were just a kachra in my corroborator. I dont wish to see ur made in china head lights ever again.
You zero honda. i mean go without dhak dhak.


(3) A Poet (Javed Akthar types)

Tumhaare dil se diye takalluf ki tanhaai me, kuch iss tarha murjha gaye mere dil k khile kamal,
Ki shraab k nashe me doob gaya main, aur mera dost Rohan Samal...
Dard ki vaadiyon mein, baadal se lipte hue shama ki tarha,
bujh gaye mere dil me tere pyaar k diye...
Ab toh bas iltejha hai tum se kehne ki chal hatt,
Mujhe ab se nahi hai teri zaroorat...


(4) A Computer Engineer

I installed u in my heart-ware,
thinking that u were a unique software,
but u were just another malware.
Bcoz of u so much of my data in my CPU has become corrupt, but i wont hang bcoz of u, though i haven't shut down since 3 days. I have Therefore decided to format my heart disk. Don't think of hacking me again coz i have changed my firewall settings... Now debug


Sorry for the lenght, hope u had a good laugh...

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1

Virtual Zindagi..!

Posted by Karan Gurnani on 3:04 PM
Slowly Slowly everything is being virtualized. Mails replaced Letter, e banking made lines outside banks shorter, e booking gets u to book tickets online...
A day would come when an ill person would b treated virtually... How wud that happen???? Just a lil exaggerated imagination is what follows:

Say CHAMPU falls ill... how wud he go about his treatment in 2020.

He would write on the docs wall : Not feeling well :(
the docs wall to wall reply: open ur mouth, click a pic of it n gimme a poke when u keep it as ur display pic. dont wry, jus stay online :)

after poking the doc would comment on the pic: Hmmm, infection...

then the doc would send u an application on fb which would have 10 MCQ's... The results of the quiz would be ur BP (blood pressure)

suppose doctor asks champu to get hospitalized, his orkut account would be under observation, & champu would know who all visited him i.e. his profile during hospitalization.

Champu's wall would show:
Champu has now joined Lilavati hospital. click here to be a fan
Doc just gifted u a glucose. click here to send one back
The what colour is ur blood application result wud decide ur infection

God forbid If champu dies, his wall wud show:
Champu just died (a few minuites ago), 13 people like this. 2 comments
comment 1- heyy thats gr8... :)
comment 2- lol :D

Karan gurnani just put a garland on Champu's profile pic. send garland and get credit points.

Along with bdays, there wud also be an alert for death anniversary.  On that day Chapu's wall would show
post 1  -  heyyy happy death anniversary dude. long tym.... wassup :)
post 2  -  happy dth anvrsry bro... have a gr8 one ;)
post 3  -  happy death day... I've added smileys to this post. click on www.weewdfs.com\ to see them

uss din humein dawa se jyada dua ki zarurat hogi... Hope something like this never happens
hope u'll had a good laugh.


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1

Love Accounted..!

Posted by Karan Gurnani on 3:00 PM
Despite of so many things being written about in various fields,
Love in the life of a commerce student has always remained unexplored...
Here are some phenomena in pure accounting term.

Proposal - Initial Offer

Heart - Goods lost in transit

Party to friends - Official public notification

Commitment - long term liability

Affair - AS 1- With the underlying assumption of it being a going concern

Girl friend - Partner in profits

Boy friend - Nominal partner

Acceptance by parents - AS 12 - accounting of Govt. grants

1st Date - Statutory meeting - mandatory for all at the outset of commencement

Other dates - Preliminary expenses to be added to post-incorporation expenditures

Kiss - Return on investment

Marriage - AS 14 - Amalgamation - Assumed to be in the nature of pooling of interest

Alcohol - Contingent liability - may be incurred on the happening of certain events (eg. BREAK UP)

Memories - Fixed assets

Fights - Subject to arbitration

Anniversary - Everyone expects u to declare dividends

Sleep would be subject to depreciation at a standard rate of 15%

Additions welcomed... hope u had a good laugh

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1

Every No One

Posted by Karan Gurnani on 2:57 PM
A funny place n a seldom solace,
Where every no one is busy in some race…
Where a place left vacant by every one,
Becomes a place occupied by no one…

Where every one wants a partner,
But no one wants to lie…
Where every one wants to go to heaven,
But no one wants to die…
Where every one wants to win,
But no one wants to try…

Where every one wants freedom,
But no one wants to fight…
Where every one wants to argue,
But no one wants to be right…
Where every one wants to taste success,
But no one wants to face the light…

Where every one wants to speak,
But no one wants to shut up…
Where every one wants to sleep,
But no one wants to wake up…
Where ever one wants to be in touch,
But no one wants to meet up…

Where every one wants to waste electricity,
But no one wants to pay the bill…
Where every one wants to hit back,
But no one wants to chill…
Where every one wants to be on top,
But no one wants to climb the hill…

Where every one commits a mistake,
But no one wants to forgive…
Where every one wants to earn,
But no one wants to live…
Where every one wants to take,
But no one wants to give…

A place which every one leaves,
Becomes a place where no one stays…
It is there for us to see…
It applies to u,
& so does it applies to me…


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